Tags : :
- 12 Step programs, which are known in many places worldwide, are good for learning emotional relief. That's where I learned quite a bit, but I learned from other sources too, so I think I know more about it than most people do in 12 Step programs.
- Emotional problems begin in early childhood, because at that time our minds are not well developed and we make wrong conclusions in our thinking, which give us false beliefs about reality. Unpleasant emotions are meant to help us discover our false beliefs, so we can release them and live better in reality instead of in imagination. Unpleasant emotions are like alarm bells etc, which are meant to warn us of our false beliefs, which endanger our relationships, our happiness, or even our lives.
- A major false belief for most people is that unpleasant emotions are bad. Alarm bells are not bad, because they can save people's lives. Unpleasant emotions are equally helpful, when we understand them properly.
- Unfortunately, another false belief most people seem to have is that unpleasant emotions are often other people's faults. Especially when we're angry, we tend to think someone else is responsible for our anger. But, like other unpleasant emotion, anger is based on fear. It's fear of not having what we deserve, but the idea of what we deserve is very subjective.
- In early childhood, we humans depend on others for our survival, so, if we don't get what we need to survive, our defense mechanisms, such as crying, are meant to warn caregivers that we may be in danger. Infants often develop the false belief then that their desires are their needs, and if their desires aren't satisfied, they learn to escalate crying into screaming, which in later years, they escalate into having tantrums, cursing, fighting, destroying things, or harming people.
- So, when we have unpleasant emotions, the best thing to do seems to be to stop and ask ourselves what false belief may be causing them. This is what I usually try to do, when I have an unpleasant emotion. And it has helped me a lot. When I first started this practice, it was helpful for me to focus only on my worst emotions, instead of trying to list all of them. By relieving my main one or two or so emotions, I was then able to focus later on my next worst emotions. Eventually, I began to have few bad-feeling emotions.
- You can see from the above explanation that society needs to develop ways to teach people, preferably from an early age, that unpleasant emotions are warning signs that are meant to help us find and release our false beliefs. And such education would greatly benefit society and help bring prosperity for all.